Our resident culture guru offers options for the shut-ins
Well, we’ve made it to December, haven’t we friends and neighbors. And while this year has been tumultuous at best, we can maybe salvage some small part of it by soaking up what traditions we can within our small bubbles — the egg nog, the songs, the films and the presents.
So grab a cup of something sweet and do a little shopping for those geeks you love.
Bill and Ted Face the Music — We start off our list with a film over 20 years in the making. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter return to the roles that launched their careers, stepping into the sneakers of Ted “Theodore” Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire as they try and figure out how to write the song that will save all of time and space from crumbling around them. Also, I just realized, I have no idea what the “S” in Bill S. Preston stands for. I’ve seen the first two films more times that I can count, as well as the comics and the short lived animated series, and I have never once until this very moment wondered what Bill’s middle initial is. And since you’re now undoubtedly wondering as well, I’ll end the suspense — Stanley. I know, I know, I was underwhelmed as well.
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai — One of the most underrated films of the ’90s, “Ghost Dog” is basically two hours of Forest Whitaker putting on a clinic of subtle and poignant acting. Directed by Jim Jarmusch, the film follows Whitaker as he weaves through the dangerous neighborhood he resides in as an almost legendary figure, mythical. A hit man for the mob but also a specter, a ghost of a man. It remains my favorite role Whitaker has ever played and the film I always think about when I hear his name. This one is for the crime drama fan on your Christmas list.
Total Recall 30th Anniversary Edition — In an age where identity theft and data mining are at the forefront of tech news, “Total Recall” has never been more poignant or relevant. But seriously, you’re not watching it for that — you could, but you’re not. You’re watching it because this is hands down the most bananas film that Arnold Schwarzenegger has ever made, which is saying something for a man who has been in the game for 40 years. No matter what else you do in your career you’re not going to top arguing with a character who literally grows out of another characters stomach.
Plastic Hearts by Miley Cyrus — Who saw this coming? Hands? But seriously, how could I not? I’ve been waiting for this album since before I knew it would be an album. Originally, Cyrus planned to release three EPs over the course of the last year but things changed, and the second and third EPs were scrapped and from the ashes this album rose like a Phoenix. A Phoenix that loves Dolly Parton and crop tops in equal measure. Cyrus continues the evolution she started with her “Bangerz” album and looks to pull influence from ’80s synth pop and classic ballads.
Smile by Katy Perry — I got a flat tire in Alabama yesterday. At the time of this writing it has been fixed but for that to happen I had to drive on a spare to Florida. On the way back I got lost numerous times and when I finally found the right route back I was a mess, having had multiple small panic attacks and pulling over to cry a little bit a few times. About 10 minutes after I found the right route, I came across a Target and had to stop just get my bearings and not be in the car for a bit. I found myself walking to the music section and soon I was back in the car with this album. A few minutes after that I was singing along at the top of my lungs while driving through the beach communities that dot the landscape of the Gulf Coast. All the stress of the last few hours melted away, and for that I cannot recommend this album enough. It’s pure fun that you can listen to and sometimes that’s really all you need.
Mariah Carey’s Entire Catalog on Vinyl — For a very brief moment I toyed with the idea of making this entire guide this entry. Just highlighting every single album that is now available on vinyl as a tribute to the Queen of Christmas, except, that is, for either of the Christmas albums. Thankfully, my wife intervened and persuaded me that it was not nearly as hilarious of an idea as I thought, but I digress. For the pop music fan on your list this year I would highly recommend picking up one of these beautiful editions. “Rainbow” and “Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel” are particular stunning, and both are wonderfully complex pieces of Carey’s oeuvre.
Nightmare Vacation by Rico Nasty — For the past few years, Rico Nasty has been cropping up in my Spotify recommendations more and more. And in the last year especially, I’ve noticed something. Sonically, no one is doing what Rico is doing. No one in the hip hop world or the punk world is straddling the line between these two genres.
A Promised Land by Barack Obama — The first of two volumes detailing his presidency, “A Promised Land” is honestly the only book I’m currently looking forward to reading. Not that there aren’t amazing and exciting books coming out soon but as soon as the release day was announced for this all other books sort of fell off my radar. This volume will most likely cover the campaign and the first term of his presidency, and for a political junkie like myself those pages about the campaign are what I’m most looking forward to, especially after the last four years of whatever this has been.
And that’s all for me folks, it’s been, well, it’s been something I can tell you that. I’m off to find a gift for my little ones that won’t be too hard to put together in the wee hours of Christmas morn.
Be safe out there friends and neighbors.
Mahalo!
Commentary by Jeff Dixon
Dixon has had it up to here with 2020 and he’s going all in on Christmas. Decorations, cocoa, brownies, Charlie Brown, Mariah Carey — all of it!