by Kylie Mugleston
Professional Nobody, with a special affinity for all things enjoyable in life – beer, beautiful women, etc.
FOREWORD:
I’m not sure where to even begin. This is attempt #5 on this piece. What needs to be said? What can I actually do? The things that need to be said and done will have anyone who speaks, writes, (or, with the way algorithms are now, it seems even think) in jail before that day’s end. This is no longer paranoia- this is reality!
Finally, and horrifically, years of “seeing the signs” have begun to reach the worst outcome, or, worst-case scenario. Without any pleasure in saying so, I find myself in a seemingly rare position of being mentally prepared for this outcome. Because of this long-accepted perspective I’ve lived with, I’ve gotten well past the initial Fear and Anxiety of it all. That is not to say I am not scared – I don’t think there is a word I’ve ever heard spoken that can encompass the level of fear and grief that I, and I’m sure most all of us, feel too. But, I believe that I can offer something that seems to be completely non-existent in any tangible form: Hope.
So, that’s it, that’s all I can offer to anyone reading this. I cannot tell you which exact tasks need to be accomplished, I cannot tell you what will happen, or what the plan is – because there isn’t one. I can only offer advice on garnishing Hope.
We are so woefully unprepared for the future ahead of us. It will require sacrifices on every imaginable level, against threats that seem like dystopian science fiction. The grim reality of the situation we are in is something I accepted the moment I first heard the call to nationalism years ago, and witnessed with my own eyes the thousands of supporters for its movement. Where roughly 50 Leftists stood in front of Texas’ capitol, we were surrounded on all sides by three different forms of police (APD, SWAT, and Texas Guards) and some 5,000 Trump supporters – all marching, proudly, alongside Armbands and Hoods.
Now, that event has culminated to where we are, and the time has come. As of November 12th, 2024, Trump has even appointed billionaire Elon Musk to a non-government agency (the Department of Government Efficiency) that explicitly offers “external advice on dismantling government bureaucracy”, without any of the “pesky strings” attached to requirements of Federal agencies or their agents. These are not just wild things that are happening, that will have no direct effect on you. This is the beginning. This is the dismantlement, this is the rise to Power, this is, this is, this is.
It’s all very somber. It’s horrifying. I’ve always felt a quiet contempt for anyone who made the Lenin joke – “I’ll never see the revolution in my lifetime.” (Though, this isn’t actually a true quote – but, pedantics.) Revolution or not, we are sure to live through something! And we will suffer through it. But, we must! We must. We must. It is reality, and we must face it. It is, and we must. For there to be a future, we must, we must, we must.
With the doom and gloom out of the way, let me begin my persuasion of Hope.
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We have unfortunately set ourselves up for failure. Whereas Pride has, historically, been a quest for “normalcy” – that is, a desire for acceptance (or at the very least, tolerance), alongside a celebration of culture, the public perspective on Us has changed. Now, to be Queer is to be a direct offense to The Population. We seem to have worked our way backwards, and very quickly. This was achieved unintentionally, but almost assuredly, because of our Online Presence.
It is dishonest to pretend that Online Activism has not garnered unnecessary attention to the Queer Community. We have been setting ourselves up for hatred online for, seemingly, a decade now. Our insistence on ourselves, on bringing queerness into every casual discussion, using it as provocative bait to the Already-Hateful, our reliance on Identity Politics…these stones we threw in seemingly innocuous houses have set us up for The Great Shattering. Of course it’s easy for them to hate us – we are the easiest, and loudest target!
The difference, though, between us and them, is they are willing to bring the fight offline, and have proven successful in it. While The Powers That Be have turned what is CLASS WARFARE into CIVIL WARFARE, we, the Black community, and the Migrant population have become singled out. Unlike the Black community, who years back (but not long ago!) made their voices heard in protests and marches across the States, we seem only to show when it is in direct benefit of, or Pride, in Us. There is a reason for the inside jokes amongst non-White queer people about White Gays – we have earned the reputation that we have.
This was not coincidental: the issues regarding Trans people and women’s rights have simply replaced the “Big Topic” issues of police brutality and racism (while they still prevail, seemingly worse than ever). We are not in control of the social narrative or propaganda being pushed to maintain civil unrest. They are doing this to Us, on purpose, and we feed into it with reckless abandon.
It is our job as the Queer community to align ourselves with the acknowledgement of Class Warfare, and ensure that we make our community spaces readily available to any marginalized groups. It is our responsibility to actively participate in spaces benefiting groups besides our own, as well. That is the definition of solidarity, and we have not practiced it as well as we would like to believe. This is an issue of class at its core – we are simply the easiest of targets this go-round. We must prepare to be strong for others, as well as ourselves. That strength brings Hope.
This is not a criticism of self-expression, or Pride; this is a criticism of our inability to put our money where our mouths are. Ask any organizer, ask anyone who’s ever been to protests – hell, ask yourself! Have you ever actually done anything? I’m not attacking you, reader, and I am not anointing myself as some Grand Hero who has Done So Much (or, even, anything meaningful at all!). The point I’m trying to make is, we are outnumbered! Constantly! On every real level, except online! What does that do for us, where are we, why aren’t we showing up?
I’ve become bad about this myself, for various reasons. This job, that injury, this girl, that move. I’ve no shortage of excuses. While I’ve maintained some aspect of mental “reality” of the political climate, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t become docile. I had the life beaten out of me, physically and mentally. I was tased, beaten, chased, and eventually jailed. I saw the lasers of snipers perched on rooftops on my own chest, and the chests of my friends, even as we posed no physical threat and were largely, largely outnumbered. Even as we followed the rules, even as we had permits, even as, even as, even as.
I’m saying this as a confession of moralistic guilt towards and acknowledgement of my stint of inaction. While my body can no longer serve its function as needed on the front lines, it’s come time for me to decide on other ways I can act, and this is my attempt at that. Reminiscing on what I’ve faced is not an attempt to self-center this piece, but to demonstrate both the toll these things can take mentally, and the very real physical threats that we must now choose to face, together.
So, how do we do it? How do we Face These Great Fears?
The very simple answer is: Stop posting, start showing.
It is time. They arm themselves openly against us. They sign legislation against us. We are once again being mocked and tormented in the streets. Following the trends of history, soon, open violence will begin against us once more. The police are already against Us. We know this, we’ve always known this. The times of the 70’s and 80’s where the last words many gay men would hear were slurs shouted amongst laughter seem to be returning. We know that the families, and partners, had to live, then, knowing the police looked the other way – Good Riddance to Fags. We face that same threat, again.
You will find great strength in participation. This is where Hope will become immediate to you. It is isolating enough being Queer in Southeast Texas- it is more so when the only community you have in support of you exists entirely behind a screen. There is a community here, and it is begging for us to be a part of it. It is begging for us to participate, to show up, to attend, to advertise, to donate, to hold signs, to run lights, to do anything. We have so many peaceful, lawful opportunities to change our direct environment right now!
That is all that I’m asking of us. We have, honestly, yet to fully try things The Right Way. Meanwhile, the fascists, nationalists, and Neo-Nazis are leagues ahead of us in this field. In fact, they mastered the early and lawful levels of organization well enough that they were able to go ahead on to the illegal organization of a full blown insurrection of the government capitol!
This is reality, that is what we are up against, and we aren’t even close to catching up. But, there is Hope, and it relies entirely on you. On me, on our neighbors, on everyone, and it is our job to encourage it (offline, in real ways) to anyone that may be willing. It is your job to instill others with courage, it is your job to educate, it is your job to act.
There is no Deus Ex Machina we can rely on. There is no Chosen One, there is not even a plan. There is only you. But, isn’t that wonderful?
Isn’t it wonderful to be presented with this opportunity. We are the heroes – every single thing done now, counts. It always has, of course, but now more than ever. You are the great member of history who did something, there is nothing limiting you from that! Just as you and I are regular people, they were too, and rose to whatever called for their hand at the time. Imposter syndrome can occur with even minor things. Do not believe any thoughts of the kind that “you can’t”. There is always something that can be done, and something you can do. The universe is a 4D environment, you are free to manipulate it at your will. The world is not static – you can change it.
The benefits of your efforts will be immediate. You will, after participating in any form, with the tiniest bit of small talk, walk away with someone on your side. These connections cannot be overstated enough – that is your community. Suppose you are sick, and miss work, and miss rent, and now you’re evicted. Because of your work in the community, and your efforts, the community can now help you. This is mutual aid. You must put in work, but the benefits are endless, and they are what will keep us safe, and alive. Community is what provides safe houses, meals, voting drives, locations for artists and musicians to thrive. It is everything, and we are missing out on it, and we must not let something so simple be the death of us.
Community is the foundation of Hope, and we must engage with it to have Hope, ourselves.
Becoming physically prepared, to the best of your ability, to defend yourself as needed will aid in this, too. You must accept the possibility. You must. It is real, and it can be you, or your partner, or both of you, or any of us. It will be us. You are within every Constitutional right to own a firearm, and with a Concealed License, you are within your complete right to carry it. There is nothing illegal about it, and you are not “like Them” for owning a firearm. Just as they practice the right to bear arms to force us backwards into graves, we have every right to lawfully defend ourselves.
It feels scary to type, and I’m sure it is scary to read, as well. And why is that? Ah, yes – the knowledge that they don’t want us to defend ourselves! They will kill us! Or arrest us for any mutterings of the sort. Sure, they can exercise the First Amendment – so what makes us different, besides our Fear? They have loudly, and publicly, declared our lives as worthless – and now, women especially, must live in constant threat of violence against us, with chants of “Your body, my choice.” Why must we cower? Why must we submit, why must we die quietly, mourning and lamenting in spaces mostly unseen without the Internet?
I do not accept that as my fate.
We must catch ourselves up to them. Yes, gun ownership and gun laws are a far right lust. Yes, that is the “Gun Community”. You do not have to and should not engage in any unlawful gun– communities where the illegal use or display of firearms is exalted on. You should learn lawful gun ownership, and take your gun to an established range to learn how to use it properly and lawfully. That is work that must be done, that you must do, that cannot be put off. It is life or death for you to be able to defend yourself and your loved ones. You have the right to do this – exercise it while you still can. They are.
If you’re able to get in the gym, do it. You will need to run. You will need to fight. You will need to have the confidence in your body to carry you from point A to point B safely. That, too, will instill a Hope within you that cannot be explained until one has felt it themself.
There are very few excuses for able-bodied individuals to not maintain a baseline level of fitness. Bodyweight, no equipment, small space workouts are readily available online. The outdoors are free to run across. This is a situation where any excuse you make is directly, immediately, harming you and others. It is not a matter of appearance or weight, it is a matter of functionality, and you must be functional to keep yourself safe.
Acknowledging disabilities or severe physical limitations, I do not write this with the intent of being ableist. I am operating under the assumed understanding that this is a call for healthy, able-bodied individuals who intend to physically participate in lawful protests. You will be held back by physical unfitness. It can get you hurt, badly. I have witnessed it myself. This cannot be stressed enough. If you are a healthy individual, with any plans at all of attending a lawful protest, you must get yourself into good physical condition.
By being unprepared to run for your own safety when needed, you will have set yourself up for disaster and become a liability for anyone else that was involved. The three hours a week you dedicate to the gym could be the only thing that keeps you alive one day, and while I sincerely pray with every fiber of my being that you will never have to face that, it is simply reality for Us now. You must be healthy, physically and mentally, to defend yourself and others.
That is your responsibility to the cause, to yourself, to your community. Another thing that cannot be put off – it must be done, it is life or death.
This is, unfortunately, what it means to be queer, going forward.
We have given ourselves the reputation of being weak and needing constant accommodation. We have set ourselves up for failure, and made ourselves easy targets – especially when They call our bluff, and show up en masse, where we often have just dozens of stragglers showing that we mean what we say. We have proven for years that we can be bullied, that we will submit, that we are not willing to go to the lengths that their hatred spurs them to.
I will not be killed as a stray in the street by malevolent children – I will accept whatever sin comes with ensuring I die righteously.
Things cannot continue as they have. It’s time, it’s time, it’s time.
We are the Greats of History in the making. We must ensure a future where our history is even written, at all.